how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The adults are the big ones right?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
