You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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