I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
