1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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