Kiss
Puke
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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