Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
