I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I died a long time ago.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
