Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
