Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
