Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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