just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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