...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
