Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
