i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
