Porn is love you can see.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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