I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
