so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
