But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
