I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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