Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
