escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
