Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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