so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
