i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
