we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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