Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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