there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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