We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
