HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
