So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
