what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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