So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i dont even know how to be here
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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