I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
