i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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