The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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