wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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