Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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