I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
