my vag is so smooth its legendary
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
