I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
