On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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