a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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