perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
