Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
