We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Green mimosas i think yes
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
