Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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