In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We are all done wearing pants today
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