I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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