okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
