Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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