the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
