So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
